Today I had the Rijksmuseum all to myself (for 24 minutes)

I saw some of the certified platinum bangers:

In no order, just what an 8.59am entry gets you to by 9.23am in the #HallOfTheGreats

Portrait of a Girl Dressed in Blue by Johannes "JV" Verspronck @1641

Completely unknown girl (so there's probably no model release paperwork)

So adorable (despite following the custom of portraying children as small adults - but her face gives it away)

The Golden Lion by Willem van "VD" de Velde the younger @1686

Heroic vessel named after the Dutch national emblem

Being already 20 years old and these being pragmatic people, the ship was shitcanned & broken up within a year of this painting

These are of course the only peeps in the world to have eaten (just his roasted liver) their Prime Minister (just 14 years prior to this pic)

The Standard Bearer by Rembrandt van Rijn @1636

Portly gentleman seems 50ish but it's a self portrait and he's only 30 years old - the 1630s equivalent of a bad selfie

Got sick of portraits for a couple of years after getting married (relatable…)

And then back into it with *this*

The Samplers of the Drapers' Guild by Rembrandt @1662

These blokes are responsible for assessing the quality of cloth that weavers sold to guild members

Like a street shot with a paparazzi interruption

Dude on the right not gotta bag, #GotGloves

Marriage Portrait of Isaac & Beatrix by Frans Hals @1622

So right off the bat this is not pre, present or post Coitus Interruptus (sic sex)

(In any sense of the Einsteinian Observer Conundrum)

Halloween is coming, so I too shall be donning a broad-brimmed black felt hat, a black silk costume with a lace collar and fine linen wristbands

Company of Captain Rosecrans & Lieutenant Pauw by Cornelis Ketel @1588

Ketel is known as a Dutch Mannerist painter (it's not a Finishing school)

Not just 13 guys, but a Butcher's Dozen of Rock God Legends

Upper class, heavy weapons, fancy threads

Like an end of season footy/football trip to Cabo/Bali/Ibiza

They clearly borrowed the scary looking muzzled dog b/c their hearts are with the little jaunty lapdog

Portrait Trio by Jacques "JJ" Jordaens @1635

Rogier Le Witer // the Grand charity collector of Antwerp (but not like those people who wave at you in the street)Catherine Behaghel // fancy fan symobolizing that she's rich

Magdalena de Cuyper // flowering tulip symbolizing transience